Murder-suicide of couple reported at Wheat Ridge nursing home

Joyce and Donald Schaffer

After 43 years of marriage, Donald Schaffer took a handgun to his wife's nursing home, shot her to death as she lay in bed and then turned the gun on himself.

Joyce Schaffer, 69, checked into Wheat Ridge Manor Care Center 10 months ago to recover from a broken hip, police said.

Shocked friends and family members told investigators that Donald Schaffer, 66, of Westminster and his wife had a happy marriage.

"They were very much in love and after being separated for the last several months, we believe they are finally back together," family members wrote in a statement.

Police said they haven't come up with a clear motive for the murder-suicide that occurred Sunday evening at the nursing home at 2920 Fenton St.

Joyce Schaffer suffered from multiple sclerosis, but she was solely in the nursing home to recover from her hip, police said.

Donna Cohen, who is an expert on older adults who commit murder-suicides, said perpetrators usually fit a profile: They are depressed and overwhelmed by caregiving for an ill spouse. Also, the deaths typically involve long-married couples who are extremely close with no history of domestic violence, Cohen said.

Cohen, a professor in the Department of Child & Family Studies at the University of South Florida, has researched assisted suicide and homicide in the elderly.

While details about the Schaffers' situation were unknown, Cohen speculated that it's likely Donald Schaffer was visiting the nursing home regularly and spending much of his time there.

"One possible scenario is wanting to put his wife out of her misery as he perceives it," she said. "The second is, he may have gotten some information that his health status has changed, and in these lifelong marriages, they don't believe someone can care for the spouse as they can."

Last October, 80-year-old Albert Ballard of Rockville, Md., killed his 74-year-old wife and himself in the same way — with a handgun in a nursing home.

A friend of the Ballard family called it an "act of love" because his wife suffered from paralysis, according to an article in The Washington Post.

But Cohen called such murder-suicides acts of depression and desperation.

"The stress of caregiving for someone at home — the depression gets missed quite often," she said. "Men do this because they have more experience with guns, and men don't talk about their depression with others like women do."

Cohen says nursing-home workers should be alert to situations where one spouse who visits regularly looks agitated or has lost weight and seems overwhelmed. Another sign could be when the spouse begins to remove personal items from the room, such as clothing.

"Don't be afraid to talk to the spouse and say, 'I am concerned about you and your wife,' " Cohen said. "... And offer support."

There are about 2,000 murder-suicides a year in the U.S., and about 300 to 500 of them involve people over the age of 55.

Cohen said most of these murder-suicides occur in the couple's home, but it is not unusual to occur in a nursing home, which is considered a home once it becomes a place of long-term care.

"A pending move to a nursing home may be a precipitating factor," she said.

Felisa Cardona: 303-954-1219 or fcardona@denverpost.com

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