Homicide victims remembered at annual vigil
Candles and photos from high school, weddings and other happy times lined the tables on stage at the Wesley Arena Theatre Sunday night as tears fell in the audience from families gathered to remember loved ones who were victims of homicide.
Joining those family members at the 19th annual Candlelight Vigil of Remembrance and Hope were members of various law enforcement agencies and the District Attorney's office.
"We're not going to forget your story," Norris Skelley, event organizer, said. "We're not going to forget your loved ones."
This event came about as a result of the national Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) already having recognized vigils as a time for victims to come together with the community to remember loved ones lost or injured at the hands of criminals.
Two speakers -- one representing homicide victims and another representing vehicular homicide victims -- highlight the event. This year, the speakers were Aline Skelley, MADD victim advocate, and Holly Jefcoat, the sister of the late Sara Bell, who was murdered by her husband in 2008.
"I still remember that day, what I was wearing, everything," Jefcoat said of the day she got the call that Sara, her sister who was 11 years younger than her, was missing. "By the end of the day, I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, like she was telling me she was already gone."
Jefcoat said she keeps a journal of the memories she has of her and Sara growing up.
"We did everything together. I miss the small things, like the midnight runs to Walmart to get candy."
She said she doesn't know what it's like to lose a child, but she saw the grief and anguish in her father when everything came to light.
"He died before he could hear the verdict," she said. "It really took a toll on him."
She kept questioning, "God, why me?" She credits finding forgiveness through Jesus Christ.
"With His help, He made me smile and laugh again," she said. "I choose to live and forgive, not for a! nyone el se but me. Sara would not want me or anyone mourning her. She had such a great sense of humor."
Her nephew, Landon, Sara's son, will be six in December and is doing well, living with an aunt.
"He lost both parents in this," she said. "But he's doing well."
This program to honor the memory of victims is held every year the Sunday before Thanksgiving.
"We strive to provide a setting that is conducive to victims feeling they are in a place and at an event that is for them and about them," Norris Skelley said. "It is a safe place to share their emotions and be heard and accepted, a place where they can share their story year after year and the people at the event will not tire of hearing their story. Talking about it promotes healing, and we see victims year after year and we have learned that the pain never goes away, but sharing it can help lessen it."
This was Jefcoat's first time speaking at this event, and she is looking forward to attending more.
In addition to this memorial, she is also looking to speak at various women's conferences and seminars to talk about healing from such tragic events.
She is also working on a book and hopes to get some legislation changed with regards to sentencing people who kill their spouses.
"I think Chad's punishment (23 years in prison) is good because he's going to serve 100 percent," she said. "Sometimes it appears that the system goes more toward the person who does the crime instead of the victim."
For more information about MADD, call 800-544-6233 or visit www.madd.org.
Joining those family members at the 19th annual Candlelight Vigil of Remembrance and Hope were members of various law enforcement agencies and the District Attorney's office.
"We're not going to forget your story," Norris Skelley, event organizer, said. "We're not going to forget your loved ones."
This event came about as a result of the national Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) already having recognized vigils as a time for victims to come together with the community to remember loved ones lost or injured at the hands of criminals.
Two speakers -- one representing homicide victims and another representing vehicular homicide victims -- highlight the event. This year, the speakers were Aline Skelley, MADD victim advocate, and Holly Jefcoat, the sister of the late Sara Bell, who was murdered by her husband in 2008.
"I still remember that day, what I was wearing, everything," Jefcoat said of the day she got the call that Sara, her sister who was 11 years younger than her, was missing. "By the end of the day, I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, like she was telling me she was already gone."
Jefcoat said she keeps a journal of the memories she has of her and Sara growing up.
"We did everything together. I miss the small things, like the midnight runs to Walmart to get candy."
She said she doesn't know what it's like to lose a child, but she saw the grief and anguish in her father when everything came to light.
"He died before he could hear the verdict," she said. "It really took a toll on him."
She kept questioning, "God, why me?" She credits finding forgiveness through Jesus Christ.
"With His help, He made me smile and laugh again," she said. "I choose to live and forgive, not for a! nyone el se but me. Sara would not want me or anyone mourning her. She had such a great sense of humor."
Her nephew, Landon, Sara's son, will be six in December and is doing well, living with an aunt.
"He lost both parents in this," she said. "But he's doing well."
This program to honor the memory of victims is held every year the Sunday before Thanksgiving.
"We strive to provide a setting that is conducive to victims feeling they are in a place and at an event that is for them and about them," Norris Skelley said. "It is a safe place to share their emotions and be heard and accepted, a place where they can share their story year after year and the people at the event will not tire of hearing their story. Talking about it promotes healing, and we see victims year after year and we have learned that the pain never goes away, but sharing it can help lessen it."
This was Jefcoat's first time speaking at this event, and she is looking forward to attending more.
In addition to this memorial, she is also looking to speak at various women's conferences and seminars to talk about healing from such tragic events.
She is also working on a book and hopes to get some legislation changed with regards to sentencing people who kill their spouses.
"I think Chad's punishment (23 years in prison) is good because he's going to serve 100 percent," she said. "Sometimes it appears that the system goes more toward the person who does the crime instead of the victim."
For more information about MADD, call 800-544-6233 or visit www.madd.org.
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